Just say Sadly, No! to Christian rap...

Brad from Sadly, No! seems to think that this weak little rap will be enough to quell any insurgency from some of the rogue nations in the blogosphere. My blog may be of absolutely no consequence in the grand scheme of things, but even I know that the gold standard for painful Christian rap is Fr. Stan Fortuna:



And, just to catch him live, a brief snippet from the dangerous Zipper Zone:



If you need some lyrics to be convinced, how about these beauties from the deceptively titled Say Yes to Sex:

TOO MUCH STRESS TOO MUCH FRUSTRATION
MY FLESH CAN’T STOP THE MASTURBATION

[...]

DON’T TAKE ME TO MUNICH TO MAKE ME A EUNUCH
WOULD IT HELP IF I GOT MYSELF A WHITE TUNIC?

[...]

WHEN YOU PERVERT WHAT’S SACRED AND MAKE IT A SPORT
PEOPLE CAN’T TAKE IT AND RESORT TO ABORT
THAT’S WHY THE SAVIOR BLED SO WE CAN BE THOROUGHBRED
LISTEN-UP RE-TREAD DON’T BE A KNUCKLE-HEAD

Nice try, Brad, but your boy has nothing on Fr. Stan.